A Portal from One End of the Universe to Another

A Portal from One End of the Universe to Another

“Sometimes you’re just scattered across the ground, but sometimes you get scattered across the universe.”

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Detour off of the Greenway

I will smoke myself to death and back alive
Trapped inside this prison cell
Of rows of white houses with artificially green trees and grass.
Ride a short distance to an illusion of a forest
Deep in a stranger’s backyard.
Sitting against a dead fallen tree,
Neverminding the dirt, mud, leaves coating my pants and shoes.
The sticky sweat soaked right through my shirt.
My shoes wet walking across this filthy stagnant lazy stream.
Inviting insects into my pockets.
Pulling leaves out of my hair.
Smudging these pages with dirt.

Forcing myself to accept this as some sort of vacation.
It’s working pretty well.

Skatterd Spirits

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The leaf, spirit of life and birth
The tree, spirit of wisdom and age
The moon, spirit of light and beauty
The earth, spirit of strength and unity
The black cloud, spirit of death and the unnatural

New Look

Deer Lord,

I grew weary of the design I had been using on my page for some time and so I had been trying to think up a new look for it for a few weeks now and I have finally settled on something. This new look is darker but with a nice array of fun colors near the top of the page. I was inspired to do that by Radiohead’s In Rainbows album cover although I did it in a much different way. Instead of using flat black I used a very dark gray for the background and the colors aren’t as brilliant or rainbow-like as the paint splotches they use. Also, the colors I picked may very well not match at all seeing as I’m colorblind but they do to my eyes so you’ll just have to deal with it. The background also includes a nice little piece of writing behind all of the planet explosions and the linear representation of the universe. You probably can’t read what it says and so if anyone is curious as to what it says I’ll tell you. Just ask. The header is different, too. I replaced the cryptic “Run for the Emergency Exit” writing with some more or less sound advice: “don’t ignore strangers. don’t pick up demons.” You can figure out what it means, although it’s pretty straightforward. And then there is a dead circuit board in the background with some stars that have fallen apart. That’s pretty much it.

I hope that you enjoy the new look and some feedback would be cool, although I don’t expect anything besides, “it looks fucking stupid. What happened to the night sky that you had?” Thanks for hanging in there guys. I’m going to try and submit writing more frequently now that I have finished the redesign.

Pizza and swell dreams,
DBHV

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I’ve never been to a bar in New York City

Take your seat, sip your drink
Or move to your feet
Tonight.

Her head is a wreck,
But the shape of her dress
Is fine.

Annette in the red,
Those words that she said
Were lies.

Her lips on your neck,
And hands on your leg,
Dimmed lights.

The smoke in your eyes,
The heat of her thighs,
The smell of this place,
The smile on your face,
The hand slipping down,
The call: one more round,
The walk to the street,
The weight of your feet.

Lead her through the door.
Who’s wanting it more
Tonight?

You steam and you sweat
Make use of the bed
One time.

In the shadows that night
She leaves in a fright
Again.

Still can’t see clear,
Bleary eyes in the mirror.
Alone.

The pain in her head.
The stains on her dress.
The marks on her back.
The feeling she lacks.
The wallet of his.
The cry of her kid.
The slide down the wall.
The realization of nothing at all.

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Coffee and crepes

Waiting for the bus
Drinking freshly brewed
Now dreaming of you
You had one curl of hair shying away from your ponytail
Smile shining, eyes glimmering
You gave it to me
It was hot
I wish this metaphor translated
And I’m quite pathetic
Without any nerve
I’ll just sit and sulk
And sip.

From the bed

We are
We are everlasting
Consistently recurring
We are never so cold cold cold

Bone dry
Flesh painfully regrowing
Forget our last, we know it
Reject the past as so so so

Grassy now
Stones by column and row
Plastic flowers not broken
Wind chill, tears roll roll roll

Trains, alcohol, watches, and cheesepizza

Dear People People People,

It has been some days since I’ve had any activity on this blog so I had to say something. I don’t even know what that something is, but it’ll come to me as I’m typing. I’ve been working a bunch lately, and I haven’t had time to get on the computer for a long enough period of time to make any sort of well-thought-out post, because if I can’t finish a post in one sitting or at least in one day then I will not post it. Even if it is long and well-written and engaging (in my opinion at least) and I can’t finish it for some reason, it will go into the drafts folder and will not be touched again until the time comes to delete it. That’s why I always seem to write for way too long when I do decide to write something here because I don’t want to lose the train of thought that I was having, and it is impossible for me to replicate a particular train of thought. So I’m forced to stick with it until I’m completely finished with it. That’s part of the reason I have a hard time writing long prose, like a book. I would totally be able to write a book from start to finish in one sitting if I had the schedule where I could dedicate a whole week or even a weekend, a bunch of prepared foods and drinks and adult beverages and some amphetamine-type drugs to keep me awake; then I could hammer out a rough draft of quite a lengthy novel. Seeing as that is a very unhealthy and impractical practice, I cannot do that. I will just have to learn how to pick up where I left off. Even right now, I’m running the risk of having too much to say and refusing to quit typing for another hour or so, but I really have to get to sleep pretty soon because I have to wake up at 3 am tomorrow morning for work and it is already 9:30 pm (eastern time, the only time-zone that matters).

So let me get to a point. I probably only have time for one. I am not going to be contributing any more poems to this blog for a while. I am having a sort of writer’s block that seems to coincide with my being tired after work and my desire to get very drunk anytime I’m not working. I’m a writer, so I am granted some right to drink heavily for periods of time, right? The ironic thing is that I haven’t got drunk in a while, at least not since this writer’s block has flared up. I’m starting to suspect that my writer’s block is a direct effect of my not fulfilling my desire to get drunk all of the time. The next time I get drunk I’m probably going to write so much, although it will probably be terrible but I can imagine it being quite creative. And I’m pretty sure that the next time I get drunk (like really drunk), I will lose much of that desire to get drunk because I hate getting really drunk two days in a row. That rules out the possibility of anybody calling me an alcoholic. So just don’t expect any poems from me as long as I’m sober.

I guess I have time for one more point. I bought a watch the other day. Now I don’t particularly like wearing a watch, especially since most men’s watches are massive and so cumbersome to have on the wrist, but I did have a Mickey Mouse watch that I bought in Disney World that I loved wearing. It was so comfortable and it was kind of a nice watch for $15 (originally $40). Also, I must admit that I had just read the Da Vinci Code shortly before this and I thought it was cool that Robert Langdon had a Mickey Mouse watch, although mine had much less meaning. I must also admit that I don’t very much like Robert Langdon or Dan Brown, although I have read a majority of Brown’s work. Reading his books just feels like watching a really long episode of CSI/NCIS/what-have-you. It’s entertaining and a good mystery but there isn’t much substance to it. Please don’t ever let me become a Dan Brown. Oh, and the movies were terrible (although I love Tom Hanks). Now that watch broke somehow and I never bothered to fix it and I’m sure it was disposed of somehow. That was the last watch I owned prior to the one I just got. I only got this one because I need it for work since I’m not allowed to have my cell phone, which I have been using for the longest time to tell time, on my person while on the clock so I would never have any idea what time it was. This caused me to miss my lunch and work late a couple of times so I had to buy a watch. This watch was bought at Target for $12.99; it’s a Merona which I guess is Target’s lesser quality brand name. It is a nice enough watch but there are two problems I have with it: it is a bit cumbersome and doesn’t fit all that well, and it has dials on the face to tell the date and day of the week and a second counter but none of these dials work. Their hands just stay in the middle of the meter and don’t even possess the ability to move. I realize it is just for aesthetics but I would much rather just not have the dials at all, and I could not find one of them without these extra dials in the style I wanted but I didn’t mind all that much because it is a $12.99 watch. It just seems impractical. I do, however, love this little bracelet charm that I found that is in the shape of a slice of cheese pizza (I loooooooooooove cheese pizza) that I have attached to my watch. It is just the cutest damn thing and it adds so much to the watch. In fact, it is the only reason I wear the watch when I’m not at work. I want to find another thing to wear the charm on but since I don’t wear a necklace or any kind of bracelet, I don’t have anything else to wear it on. It’s just a little bit awkward on the watch but I will deal with it so long as I can wear the charm.

Ok, so that went on longer than I thought it would so I have to bid thee farewell for maybe an extended period of time. Hopefully not, probably so. Oh well.

Tschau!,
Avne Casuss Mour

Time and Commitments

dear enlightened,

it’s been a short while since you guys last heard from me. a few days ago i finished my 30 days project exactly as i had planned, although i think my original end date estimate was off by a day. oh well, i’m terrible at math. but during this ordeal i’ve learned quite a bit about myself and maybe you guys learned something about me as well.

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30

Nothing special tonight,
just another click in the wheel.
Settling into yet another notch.
Struggling to overtake that next tooth.
I am only Mr. Sun and Planet.
He is the Reciprocating Arm.
Pull or push me,
I’ll spin the same path.
Heat me up, make me smoke,
I am just an aeolipile.
He is the fire.
My brothers, my sisters,
we are the simplest parts of the gearbox.
Never moving, never changing,
just spinning.

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